OK, the result of this blog’s National talk Like a Pirate competition can finally be announced. It’s taken a bit of time because I had to get two other judges involved to avoid claims of corruption, the winner won my last competition AND I had publicly claimed I could be bribed. HOWEVER no chocolate passed hands and the winner is …..

….

….

KATHRYN!.

Congratulations, and a prize on its way. Commiserations to the other entrants, but it kind of felt to me that you’d had fun doing it anyway. Hope so.

Here’s the winning poem:

A Wes’ Coun’ry Lass

Now, I not be the sort o’ wench
Findin’ themselves lyin’ overflowin’,
Loaded to the Gunwales,
Entertain’ Corsairs at nightfall
An’ greasin’ me womanly form
By day,
‘N’ goin’ pink
(‘cept not with shame),
Lef’ with a son of a biscuit eater
Or worse, a black spot!
Wha’ kin’ of booty is tha’?

Aye, me ain’ no landlubber for sure
Tho’ I ain’ goin’ thar abroad
Like some squiffy,
No’ because I’m lily-livered
but give me the Wes’ Coun’ry
Any day an’ I’ll show you
How the gen’lemen of fortune
Appreciate a sweet lass like me
After the roar of their sweet trade
An’ the suppin’ of their grog
Wi’ a well-filled pasty.

I bein’ so popular wi’ ‘em Jacks
‘At words got’ ’round
An’ whole squadrons
Sample my charms,
So for pieces of eight
They get me warm moist pastry,
Drippin’ steak an’ onion;
A taste of the’ good ol’ Wes’ Coun’ry
Baked in my oven.
Well, whadya think I meant?
Ya scurvy dog!

I thought this was a spoof at first, particularly as it was headline news. But sadly, reading on I don’t think it is at all.

Cuban cigar supply said not hurt by hurricanes
By Esteban Israel Reuters – Wednesday, September 24 09:07 pm

HAVANA (Reuters) – Hurricanes Gustav and Ike destroyed up to 2 million pounds of Cuba’s best tobacco, but reserves of the leaf should cover demand for the island’s premium cigars for the next year, a tobacco executive said on Wednesday.

The storms, which struck within 10 days of each other, caused major damage to the tobacco industry infrastructure, which will require a significant investment to repair, said Manuel Garcia, vice president of cigar producer Habanos S.A.

“We think that for at least the next year we should not have great difficulties with the supply of cigars because luckily for us, we have a reserve of raw material,” he said at a Havana business conference.

“Undoubtedly we are going to need an important financial injection for the tobacco (industry),” he said.

Habanos, a joint venture between the Cuban government and Altadis, a unit of British-based Imperial Tobacco, produces and sells some of the world’s best-known cigars, including Monte Cristo, Cohiba, Romeo y Julieta and Partagas.

It reported sales of $402 million (218 million pounds) in 2007, up from $375 million in 2006.

The Cuban government said the two storms destroyed 3,414 barns where the harvested tobacco was being cured and damaged another 1,590 when they ripped through the western province of Pinar del Rio, where Cuba’s top tobacco is grown.

Between 1.6 million and 2 million pounds of tobacco were estimated to have been destroyed.

Garcia said the cost of replacing or repairing buildings was being determined and that longer-term effects on tobacco supply would depend on the speed of rebuilding.